


(A Little More Than) Conversations with Myself

by genuinewarmblood



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Crack, Hand Jobs, M/M, Past Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Self-cest, Time Travel, not a happy fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2020-02-16 19:42:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18697948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/genuinewarmblood/pseuds/genuinewarmblood
Summary: Who would understand you better than yourself?





	(A Little More Than) Conversations with Myself

**Author's Note:**

> This work is not a fix-it, and it offers a pretty shitty (as in sad) explanation for Steve's ending. If you are a die-hard Stucky fan, I don't recommend reading this fic.

“I’ve got the scepter. Making my way to the rendezvous point. Ah, crap.” Steve pauses on his way to the catwalks in the center of the Avengers tower when a familiar face comes into view.

“I’ve got eyes on Loki.” Another Steve, Steve from 2012, approaches with his cowl and brightly colored suit.

“I’m not Loki. And I don’t want to hurt you.” Steve from 2023 sets down the case with the scepter carefully out of the way. As he expected, his past self immediately charges to incapacitate the supposed impersonator.

They wrestle for several minutes. Naturally evenly matched, it’s impossible to surprise each other and find an opening. They slip and crash through several glass catwalks on their way down.

2023 Steve is already sick of the fight and running out of time, He pushes himself up from the shards of glass scattered around and reaches for the scepter that’s escaped its casing. His past self grabs him before he can get the infinity stone. When 2012 Steve secures a choke hold, 2023 Steve starts strategizing desperately. He has to distract this Steve somehow. He was so fresh out of the ice during the Battle of New York, and he was more out of time than he is now during his mission with actual time travel. An idea that makes him cringe with the emotional manipulation springs to his mind.

With his last breaths, he wheezes out, “Bucky… is alive.” Instead of hesitating and giving an opening, his past self flips them but continues to hold him in place. 2012 Steve pins him at his legs and, more importantly, with an unyielding grip on his windpipe.

“What? What are you talking about, Loki? How would you even know who Bucky is?” 

Steve’s last chance to escape quickly is gone, so he resigns himself to trying to explain what’s happening to his past self.

“I’m not Loki, as I said. I’m you, close to 11 years in the future.”

This news makes 2012 Steve narrow his eyes and still refuse to loosen his hold.

“What are you doing here?”

“No questioning time travel?”

“I’ve seen enough crazy stuff today to make me accept anything at this point.”

Steve had forgotten how much had happened, and how quickly, leading up to the Battle, and the reminder makes him understand why his past self paused his assault to interrogate him. Steve gestures over to the scepter, laying just out of his reach.

“I’m here to get that. We need the Mind Stone, Loki’s scepter, in the future.”

His past self glances over at the shining metal and glowing stone for only a second, but he holds fast, clearly wanting to continue his interrogation.

“Does Bucky really come back to us?” Now they’re getting to the heart of the problem.

“Depends on the definition of ‘come back.’ Bucky is in your future and mine when I get back to my time.”

“How does he survive the fall?”

“He got some version of the serum from Zola when he was a prisoner.”

“What do you mean by the ‘come back’ thing? He’s with us, right?” His past self seems particularly concerned with their relationship with Bucky in the future. Based on his experience at this point during the Battle of New York, Steve’s not surprised that his past self is occupied by a possible connection to the past.

2023 Steve shakes his head with the little range of motion the hand on his throat grants. “No, Bucky isn’t with us. He’s… he’s moved on.” Steve barks out a hysterical laugh. “He said he wanted some distance from his past, his baggage.”

“What baggage? What happens to him before he gets to us?”

“You don’t want to know.”

“Why not? What did we do?”

2023 Steve is getting tired of the questions now and starts to struggle again. His eyes to glisten with unshed tears, and his efforts barely nudge the limbs holding him down.

“I don’t know! Maybe it’s what we didn’t do. Bucky wants nothing to do with me… with us.” Steve struggles up a bit more, but his past self crushes his body back into the floor. “At least not in the way he used to.” Although he’s wasting so much time dealing with his doppelganger, 2023 Steve doesn’t have the energy to fight his past self’s interrogation. His questions remind him of all the pain that awaits in the future, all the rejection and failure. Tears are flowing freely from the time traveler now, and at least he knows his only audience won’t judge him for the display of emotion. Since their fall into the foyer, the room cleared out of civilians, and Steve can’t hear anyone in his enhanced hearing range.

He gets pulled out of his spiral of pain with an almost comforting full-body pressure. His past self is laying more gently across him, no longer worried about escape.

“What the fuck happens to us, man?” 2012 Steve says as he presses his hips into his older body.

“Not us, only me. You're my future now, and you don't go through the same things as me.”

2012 Steve shakes his head ruefully before commenting, “The only person that could possibly understand you besides Bucky, and I'll never really know? Could never understand? I kinda doubt that.”

Older Steve nods and sniffles, accepting his past self’s observation. He may not have any time to spare on this mission, but he supposes working through his pain is critical to his later success, especially since he can barely handle the future that he has to return to. 

2012 Steve settles more comfortable along his doppelganger’s body and moves his hand from his throat to his chest. His position still advises against escape, and 2023 Steve is seeing less and less of a reason to fight this conversation until Tony needs him. The scepter is secure, directly in sight, so he just needs to humor his past self for a bit longer.

“Do you still miss the same things from Bucky?” 2012 Steve’s question is shy and barely audible to normal ears.

Steve is reminded once again how recently he was out of the ice during this part of his life. The question reveals how young and unsure he was at this point, thrust into leadership seemingly weeks after he lost Bucky, lost his unwavering support at that time.

“Everyone sees me as some figurehead now. No one sees me, only Captain America.” His past self laments.

“I know. I remember.” 2023 Steve looks past his own face to the far away catwalks and walls above them. His eyes close automatically at the feeling of chapped lips on his, but they fly open again at the realization of whose lips they are.

“What are you doing?”

“Seems like you need an understanding friend right now.”

“You’re a little different from a friend.” Steve eyes his past self suspiciously but allows another press of his lips without closing his eyes this time. 2012 Steve also keeps his eyes open. Steve relaxes further and his more ambitious self continues to pepper a few kisses on his lips and around his face. His hand rubs up and down his chest for a few short strokes, and Steve decides he’s got nothing to lose. He starts to return his doppelganger’s kisses, and his younger self hums, pleased with the delayed response.

Steve feels himself get hard in his old uniform, since the fabric is so claustrophobic, and he’s not surprised to find his body from 2012 responding as well. When he reaches between their bodies, he runs into his other self’s hand with the same goal. A weak laugh from above breaks their kissing.

“Thinking the same thing? This is so fucking weird.”

2023 Steve answers with a stronger laugh and says, “And yet you started this.”

They look at each other for a few seconds. Steve of 2012 resumes rubbing his older body’s chest and puts his other hand back to the floor for support.

“Are you good with this? I didn’t really ask. I just assumed you were looking for comfort like I would be.”

Steve of 2023 sighs heavily and replies, “There’s not much time, many places, or many people for comfort in the future. I figured I’ll take what I can get from someone least likely to judge me.”

“God, the future sounds like shit. Let’s forget about it for a bit, huh?” His past self is surprisingly spunky, but Steve supposes he hasn’t seen how much death and pain comes in the future. 2023 Steve moves his hand between them and finds the zippers in their suits that at least allow him to pee in the spangly suit, but he’s not thinking of getting to the bathroom right now. He hears his own voice grunt and huff against his neck, as he pulls out a very familiar and very hard dick from the blue and white fabric. He gets his own dick out next and turns his head to kiss the side of his doppelganger’s head.

“You still with me?” 2023 Steve murmurs while stroking both the cocks between their bodies a few times. He knows his past self is probably thinking back to the last time someone jerked him off in a showy suit, but 2023 Steve doesn’t want either of them to be thinking of Bucky right now.

“Yeah, yeah.” His past self hastily replies and turns back to kissing. He stifles a few moans into his older self’s mouth while he continues stroking.

In between a few pants and filthy kisses, 2023 Steve comments off-handily, “This… seems a bit… selfish.”

As soon as the comment is out, his younger self chuckles. “It sounds like we deserve a little selfishness.”

Steve twists his hand, and they both moan out into the empty hallway. 2012 Steve moves the hand that has been rubbing his older body’s chest on and off during their kissing and rutting. His hand moves down to 2023 Steve’s hip and holds him still as he starts to fuck into the hand between them.

2023 Steve stops stroking and starts rutting up into his hand as well. Naturally, they both stutter out some groans and cum at the same time. A few more white streaks paint the belly of their suits now. Younger Steve falls to the side and lounges across the floor. He takes out a cloth from his utility belt and wipes away the extra white stripes quickly.

“Ready to go back to your own time, old man?” 2012 Steve folds up the cloth and stuffs in into his belt again.

Older Steve huffs a laugh. “I guess so. This may be my last mission. Our last mission. And I have to finish it.”

“Yeah, you sound really enthusiastic.” Younger Steve also stuffs his soft cock back into his pants, and his movements remind 2023 Steve to make himself presentable again as well.

“I don’t remember being so snarky back then.”

“Ha, I’m pretty sure you remember how everyone treated us with kid gloves when we got back. You’re the only person in this century that I can act natural around, and you’re not even from this decade.”

Steve of 2023 shakes his head in disbelief at this situation. Before he can come up with an equally snarky reply, his comm crackles to life.

“Cap? Cap, come in. We got a problem.”

“I’ll be there in a minute.” Steve takes his hand off his ear and turns to the scepter. As he rises with the Mind Stone securely in hand, he looks over at his past self, “You gonna let me leave freely?”

2012 Steve continues lounging on the floor, “Sure. I figure if it’s important enough to return to the future you so clearly hate, the scepter is doing more good there than here. I know I’m saying this without any understanding of why you’re so hung up, but maybe you need to move on from Bucky. I need to move on from our past. I know how hard that is going to be, but you need to make your own choice to move on from the past. I already want to move on now. What happens in the future to make us forget to keep trying to move on?”

“As I said, you don’t want to know. It’s bad enough that I don't know if I can move on at all anymore.”

His past self gazes up for a few more seconds before waving Steve on. Steve parts with one last smirk. He can’t remember the last time his smirk wasn’t colored with grief, but this little pep talk gives him enough resolve to finish his mission.

 

_ His last mission. _


End file.
